**** First Prize ****
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Name | From | SciFaiku
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Godot
| Andromeda DS
| Barefaced astrobat
Soars through the airless void
Alights in airlock. (Thanks A.C.C.)
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Beautiful! A unique concept, a strong image ("barefaced" is
a curious choice of words), and a nice sense of mood ("airless
void" both sets a mood and describes the lifestyle of the bat).
Mentioning an airlock brings it into contact with humanity
and suggests all sorts of fascinating implications.
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Second Prize
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Arion214
| my brain
| Wires like tentacles
connect the modem to my brain...
I swim the web seas.
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The concept is old, but the poem has a fluidity and beauty
which makes it very successful. The "tentacle" metaphor creates
a vivid picture in the mind. The connection of "tentacle" and
"sea" is not a strong one, but nevertheless helps contribute
a wholeness to the poem, and the mundaneness of the term "modem"
helps lend a sense of reality and personal relevance.
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Third Prize
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vaporlad
| MA
| Fire from the sun
Calls to the soaring rocket
Like a siren's song
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The concept of a siren is similar to its use in the renga
that appears on this site. Here, the "fire from the sun"
is a bright, burning, colorful image, but wouldn't be so strong
if taken out of context -- the comparison to siren song is what
makes it powerful. The attraction of the rocket lends it a
personality, suggesting intelligence of some sort, or perhaps
this is meant metaphorically, that the behavior of the rocket
is "as if" it were attracted, which lends a grace to its
trajectory.
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Honorable Mentions
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poet70
| CA
| Fitfully I sleep
Awakened from my slumber
To their abduction.
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A simple and common statement, but beautifully phrased
and with a nice surprise ending on the last word.
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Acolyte
| Purmerend, The Netherlands
| Flying through the mist of vacuum
Like a leaf fluttering through the wind
Unknowing of its destination
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I like the nature reference, which links it to the tradition
of haiku. This one feels as if it has many many layers of
meaning...
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JerseyGirl
| Japan
| scintilating bright
death pulse of a dying star
Death reborn: beauty!
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I like the picture, and the phrase "Death reborn" lets us
see a human meaning to it all. The ending "beauty!" is a nice
change of pace over the common grammatical structure and
pounds the image into you at the end. At a deeper level,
the whole concept of "death reborn" being beautiful forces
me to reflect on the poem...
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